xtremeskiing Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 OK, i've always wanted to write a newspaper column about how different types of people have a stereo-type which pisses me off when it comes to using roads (on foot or in car). This is going to be my column, and I will offend you. If not now, then sometime in the future. I will add an "article" to this at least once a week, each one describing a different person. Eventually, I will piss you off. I promise. My friends seem to enjoy hearing these rants verbally. I only hope I can express them just as well in words. Enjoy my sick humor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostShadow Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 so uhh....where is this artical?? and I dunno about you but wemon in America are freaky drivers. They put on Make-up, Talk on a cell phone, Smoke a cigarret, and brush their hair ALL WHILE THEY DRIVE!!!!!!!!! i was serioulsy driving to school the other day and i saw that EXACT senario with my own eyes!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtremeskiing Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 So for my first installment of "The World Can't Drive Drive For S###" we're going to pick on our female buddies from east asia who just can't seem to master the art of crossing a road. So, i'm driving around my campus the other day (and almost everyother day before) and suddenly, about 50 feet away on my left was a person on the sidewalk, frozen in broad daylight like a freaking deer in headlights. I mean come on, whats with the dumb terrified look. Its a freaking car driving down the road that your still over a minute away from waddling across. Your people manufacture them like rabbits reproduce, its not like you've never seen one before. SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF!!! So the stupid thing has dents shaped like human extremities, but that doesn't explain your identical reaction to the schools brand new 1mph golf carts. So now I feel bad and I let her cross the road, like a chicken with the flu. Right, good someritan, I sit there wasting my $4.00 a gallon gas while you take your sweet ass time approaching the curb; but then she adds insult to injury, she stops, smack in the middle of the crosswalk, gives me this stupid grin and waves. I'M ALREADY LATE TO CLASS, you don't need to take 50 minutes to wave. She could walk and wave at the same time, but no, hold up traffic...Great. And this my friends, is why I give the one fingered asphalt salute to our female friends from east asia who can't cross a road. This was the first installment, I truly hope I have offended you, cause its freaking true. If didn't offend you today, then maybe tomorrow! Just what ever you do, don't take offence to the fact that I'm singleing people out. Eventually I will hit every single ethno/gender/age/weight/etc.-graphic group, including my own. Everyone has their flaws, and I intend to exploit all of them. Enjoy the sick twisted thing I call humor PS GhostShadow, this thread is for biased bashing of specific groups of people If your gonna rip on the people you speak of, you have to specifically label them as blond caucasian MILFS in their early 30's. (and you know im right about her description) Ill get to these creatures another day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtremeskiing Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 Bonus first day report Today, I'm going to pick on a special breed of scrawny old white men who I call "baseball cards", those of you who have ever been stuck in traffic jam know exactly what im talking about. So, your stuck in a traffic jam and you turn on the news radio to see whats going on. However, all you find out is that there is no constrution, no police activity and no accidents of any kind. What do you do, you pop into the left lane and slowly begin to creep up to the front. About 19 lifetimes and a couple of sharp lane changes later you reach the front. What do you see, but a cream colored caddy and a sky blue minivan driving side by side at 3 miles per hour with no traffic infront of them. If your a jerk like me, then you already started playing bumper tag with the caddy in the left lane. As the caddy slowly idles into the right lane, you can't help but take a peek into the minivan. What you see is nothing more then some geriatric white guy who you could bench press with two bum elbows and a broken hand. The most peculuar part however is that he's got his lips puckered like he's trying to make god-damn motor boat noises. I mean seriously dude, what, do you have to make up for the lack of noise coming from your car or something? Kinda reminds me of when I was a kid and would clothes pin a baseball card to my bike. Well, if the bike isn't fast enough on pedal power, at least I can make it sound like a fast motorcycle. What the hell is wrong with these people? Their walker moves faster then they drive, and without all the dumb noises coming from their face. So, as I pass him, I roll down my passenger window and throw him the one fingered asphalt salute. Peace old man, have a nice week driving to your neighbors house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psheldrake1 Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 Taxi drivers have to be the worst drivers I've seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wahaha Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 You can see these kind of people on any given day at the local post office. These hunchbacks have no business driving with their slow reflexes and walking cane pedal assistance. Blame it on the stupid US lawmakers. Oh how I wish we had a PAY autobahn where you need certification to drive it. I was hit by a Chinese taxi. Stupid SOB tried to cut in front of my bike while I was in the roundabout. Ended up tapping my calf muscle with his front fender. I wanted to rip him out of his car through the air intake. He turned geriatric in his diaper once he saw I was a foreigner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maverick Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 i have been a white van man in the past - briefly but it occurred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psheldrake1 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 I did the '67 VW van for a while. It was pretty slow untill I put a big engine in it. Then it was just hard to keep it on the road. TOOOOO FAAAST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TetsuoShima Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 He turned geriatric in his diaper once he saw I was a foreigner. Aaaahh, evil white man... :cyclops: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 lmao you aint some of the crazy driving on the main land of europe, bosnians have to be one of the worst, they just love overtaking on a up hill bend with no regards to anyones safety. always remember in 1999 we was driving from Sipovo to a place called Mokonijic grand, half way back in the evenning when the sun had set a bosnian bloke waved our landrover down, so we stopped he was rabbling on in serb-croat and point over the cliff...we took a look and what did we find. He had only launched his yugo over the cliff and landed in some trees...he only wanted us to tow it back out lol so we said forget it mate we aint even gonna try lol...in the end we got back to our base and called the local police. Suadi Arabia, dont even allow women to drive full stop!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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