Scientific Survey Shows Alarming Trend

[Tenebrae]

For several years scientists around the world have been noticing an alarming trend on Internet.

 

People asking obvious, even stupid questions repeatedly. Incapable of finding answers for themselves and so desperate to find them that they spam them repeatedly onto message boards. Conservative estimates put the total amount of net traffic generated by this to be approximately 20% of all internet traffic - second only to Bit torrent.

 

"It's no laughing matter." Dr. Zharkov leading Internet "If this trend continues and the number of internet users increases, we could be looking at 99% of all traffic being generated by pointless message board threads by people who are just too stupid or lazy to use google - or any other search engine for that matter. Obviously the infrastructure of the internet was designed to cope with a high level of cretinous users - it's handled AOL fine for decades - but the exponential increase in users is just proving too much. If this carries on, people could start dying."

 

And the statistics seem to bear him out - the number of google related deaths has skyrocketed.

 

"I was just getting a coffee when this guy went crazy." Bystander Billy recounts. "He started screaming obsenities - something about "How hard is it to type "www.google.com" in?!" and then he punched his fist through the screen. Dead before the paramedics could get here - ironically, it wasn't the blood loss that got him. They said his heart exploded because he couldn't believe a person could be so lazy and stupid."

 

Ever increasing numbers of people have recognised this problem and are urging they ignoranuses to please - for the love of god - just frakking google it.

[StitchInTime]

Okay, so who at google put you up to this? ;)

 

I mean, this just looks like a commercial for their service. :rolleyes:

[Mav]

It looks more like a forum parody

 

the #1 rule, when in doubt GOOGLE IT

 

if rule #1 is exhausted of all options, then you may ask in the forum/irc/church parish

[Tenebrae]

Yup, I wrote it in a fit of disgust after having seen several offenders in this very forum.

[S0V13T]

Ohhh that was a damn good read. Tenebrae! I hope you don't mind if I reprodude that post, for use in the University of Planet News release. As soon as I saw the name Dr.Zharkov, I couldn't help myself.

 

http://itsazero.com/pressrelease.php

[Tenebrae]

So long as you credit me, then go ahead. Prophet Tenebrae is my usual moniker.

[str82u]

I see this alot, people who want to search for people or information that's available on the web, but they don't know how. Thy just can't get past the search engine and have no imaginations sometimes. That's not all users, but the average user.

[Tenebrae]

Who says the world has no sense of irony?

 

I was sure there was a movie that accurs before or after Starship Troopers' date=' anyone care to comment?[/quote']

 

That was the EXACT post that prompted this.

 

I was going to post something sarcastic in that thread but then I realised that it was in fact endemic and that I had to TELL THE WORLD, one forum at a time.

[S0V13T]

So long as you credit me' date=' then go ahead. Prophet Tenebrae is my usual moniker.[/quote']

 

Absolutely my mistake. I rushed it out, and made a stupid mistake by not uploading the finished version.

 

May I spend my final moments writhing in the recyceling tanks, and may my next life be serving as a Gene Jack clone.