so wat would supressed anger do?

[Engineer101]

So wat would long term supressed anger in people do actually?

i got some nice long term supressed anger. Often at school or at home. I go into a violent rage when provoked. Lots of stress involved :D. Anywho what's the Effect?

[Annika]

I suppose it can give you high bloodpressure and heartdisease in the long run. It can often be influenced by food though.

Do you use a lot of sugar and junkfood? Do you sport often? And can you talk to your parents about this?

 

[StitchInTime]

I suppose it can give you high bloodpressure and heartdisease in the long run.

This is true. It can also ruin your relationships and your life. A similar problem runs in my family. For a long time I didn't care about getting angry, because I figured the people I was angry with deserved it.

 

This may have been true, but one day I realized that my anger was killing me. When that happened I went to the library, and it turned out they had some really good books on anger management, which were very helpful to me. I also meditate daily, and find that this helps me to release my anger without dumping it on other people.

 

One day, when I was meditating, I discovered that it is possible to feel anger without suppressing it or losing one's temper. This was a tremendous revelation to me at the time, because I always thought you had to express it somehow. What I found instead was that if I felt my anger, but did nothing about it, after a while the anger changed into positive energy.

 

Sometimes anger is merely misdirected energy, or a warning that something is bothering you and you need to figure out what it is and what to do about it.

 

End of speech. :rolleyes:

[werecow]

you need a job with the u.s. postal service....ummm bad joke....umm forget i said anything.....i gotta go now...

[TetsuoShima]

Well, I used to 'sort of' have this problem. You'll learn how to deal with it eventually. All good advice everybody gives you won't solve it, you need to work it out by yourself. As a temporary release you could use some form of sports though, but that will only help you so much.

[xtremeskiing]

Go get yourself a summer job you really like, or one that involves exhausting physical activity (like construction)

 

watch how fast you sweat that anger out...not to mention all that work is good for the body.

 

I used to have way to much anger, really sucks. Sports helped me, especially full contact sports (hockey, lacrosse, football).

 

Anyway man, its almost freaking summer for you, Relax and enjoy your last few monthes as a little kid. This is the last time you can stupidly wreck your parents car and stuff useing the excuse "what do you expect, im just a kid" (I used it till I was 20)

[Soulreaper]

Yes, a commonly known "cure" for anger is to sweat it out through hard physical work - it works 100% of the time, but I'd of course advice to learn how to deal with it before it goes that far.

 

Elderbear could fill you in on that, I'm sure.

 

[Edit]: Some people even use heavy exercising to rid themselves of anger while infusing their effort of exercising with it..it's one very constructive alternative however again I'd advice to really learn to deal with and handle it without using "cheap trix". It'll do you much better in the long run.

[Fenriswolf]

I still have my moments but they're getting fewer and far between. Anger's one of those emotions that's really hard to get a grip on, there's almost a mental checklist now that I tend to refer to when I get angry, events yesterday went beyond the threshold that keeps me in check but in the end some sage words from a new friend gave me a good perspective upon the whole thing.

 

You have to examine the actions/reactions of the situation at hand.

 

1) Is it really worth getting upset over it, if it's someone being a jerk to you, they want a reaction -- don't give it to them, it's like giving them ammunition for an unloaded gun.

 

2) Who else is around, are you really willing to risk alienating friends/scaring people you're with.

 

3) Legal repercussions - not something anyone really wants, cops/police turning up on their doorstep over GBH charges.

 

4) You're a much better person than that, let it roll over you.

 

I started to employ all sorts of techniques, some of them involve meditation and controlled breathing. Heck, I studied Kung Fu for a number of years and often fall back on some of the warm-up excersises.

 

Even Tai Chi can help.

 

If you need an ear anytime, PM me.

[aftnium]

When you in anger, try focus on the thing that make you relax most. When someone try to make you anger, tell to yourself that you are a better person from your assaulter. By showing you angry to him/her will make him/her can control you. Ignore that person.

A strong man is a man that can control his anger. The only person that can help you go through this is yourself. Other person can only guide you the way.

[GeneralLee]

Elderbear deals with anger management classes, and he would be the best to discuss this with, I reckon.

 

Keep in mind, that most males, in their late teens, seem to go thru an angry phase. Hopefully for you Engineer, it's just part of your maturing, and "growing up phase."

[psheldrake1]

 

 

Go to the gym & get on the heavy bag. Take you're frustrations out there.

[BorisP]

I think the question was "what does anger do to you", not "how do I stop the anger I feel".

 

Holding onto anger or any other emotion over the long term will make you physically ill. It could lead to cancer. What happens is that you hold on to or grip tightly that emotion. You do this with the muscles inside of your body. It is like they are gripping onto a football all of the time.

 

Your body is supposed to be loose and supple and flexible and fluid so that energy can flow thru it and replenish it. That hard football area where you are holding the emotion is hard. It won't let the replenishing energy inside of that area.

 

After awhile, with not enough energy to be healthy, that area will get weak or maybe turn to cancer. It will feel like a real hard spot inside of you somewhere. Like maybe a bump from hitting your leg on a table leg, but inside of you somewhere. You could feel it up and find out how big it is and stuff.

 

Holding onto the energy will also drive you mental. The effort of holding onto that energy and the pain that it causes will stress your brain until it breaks somehow. You go postal or have a nervous breakdown or start popping pills all the time.

 

People who recommend exercise are right. The exercise make that hard part of the body holding the emotion loosen up. You can tell it is working if you get really emotional for no reason. Maybe you go for a 5 mile walk. Then after you get home you start screaming or crying or laughing for no reason. The exercise loosened up that hard ball of emotion and now some of it is being released by laughing or crying or whatever. Don't stop it or it will go back to the hard area. Just let it run it's course like steam coming out of a tea kettle.

[S0V13T]

I don;t know what the long term effects are for keeping anger and frusterations in are to be honest. I used to keep it all in when I was youmger, in school still, and just erupt into a violent, screaming and crying frenzy after my "Limit Break" meter filled up.

 

The way I do things now, is if I havea problem with someone at work, they hear aboout it immedietelly. If I have a problem with the GF, we talk about it. If my comp f*cks us and I no matter what I do to fix it, it still dosent work right, I take a walk, or make something to eat, and come back to it in few hours with a fresh perspective, instead of smashing it into rubble (then again, I DO still love to take a bag full of busted hardware to the park, and play some softball with it with my buddys :))

 

Botteling up aggression isn't a good thing. Remember that one SImpsons when flanders goes nuts becuase he suppressed all his negitive feelings? That could be you, buddy.

[maverick]

hey dude

long term supression of anger can lead to depression. at the end of the day, how areyou supposed to feel if you feel unable to solve your problems.

 

some of the lads recommend sweating it out and exhausting yourself physically. i know this can work but in your situation perhaps you should consider some kind of therapy.

 

some people once in to depression find the depression to be the problem and forgt about the causative factors.

 

when patients are due to leave my workplace i often have had a chat with them asking how they intend to proceed. just because theyre leaving doesnt mean they are better, it just means they are not ill enough to stay. i askthem about what lead up to theyre admission and what they have done to work on theyre feelings or the problems outside.

 

unfortunatly most people i meet at work return because they are unable to understand or express the very strong feelings they have and as a consequence dive back in to behaviours which are bad for them because they dont know what elseto do.

 

some people become angry because they are scared and put up a front to keep people away. some people because they are not getting theyre needs met. in the latter case ask yourself what is missing and how to provide it for yourself.

 

i also acknowledge that that is one of the hardest things some people ever do.

 

if you think that as a therapist elderbear can help then it may be wise to seek someone in your community who can fill a similar role.

 

good luck dude

[GeneralLee]

BorisP,

 

That was the most remarkeable response, I have ever seen here.

 

You, are right-on, in what you said. Very well thought out. I congrat you.

 

==============

 

I know one thing for certain;

 

I had an old friend, who was about 10 years older then I was at the time, about 12-13 years ago. He was of American Indian decent. For years, he was SOOOOOooo "angry at the world" (for a myriad of reasons), that it literally crippled him. He was on crutches, and in a wheelchair at times, tho there was nothing medically wrong with him. He looked like he was dead to the world at times, a dead man walking, but at other times, he could be deeply spiritual.

 

He and I used to attend drumming sessions, and drum making sessions, and became housemates for a brief period of time (as in roomates, tho I could not after a while stand living in the same house with him).

 

His anger that he had pent up inside himself from his teen years and early adult years, made his back, neck, and other muscles become so tense and rigid over the years, that it crippled him. He even admitted this too me, when I asked him once what was really wrong with him, since there was no medical treatable "cause" for his "illness".

 

Btw, I was about 36 years old at the time, and he 44 to 46 years old. The exact numbers escape me for now, but do not matter.

 

Anger that is pent up and not released in some way, can indeed lead to issues for some people, it would seem.

 

 

 

[Engineer101]

well i didnt expected about 14 replies so fast. lol. something that helps with my supression is listening to metal music. i can supress it and all but usually i dont let it all out.

[Soulreaper]

Talk to Elderbear! I'll still claim supression is only a quick-fix, not long-term salvation.

 

You will do well in finding strength and growth from what you face as "difficulties" and most of all, those from within.

 

 

[maverick]

well i didnt expected about 14 replies so fast. lol. something that helps with my supression is listening to metal music. i can supress it and all but usually i dont let it all out.

 

go out dancin man. havin a good mosh usually sorted me out and made me feel better in the short term.

 

 

[elderbear]

I think the question was "what does anger do to you", not "how do I stop the anger I feel".

 

... snip ...

 

People who recommend exercise are right. The exercise make that hard part of the body holding the emotion loosen up. You can tell it is working if you get really emotional for no reason. Maybe you go for a 5 mile walk. Then after you get home you start screaming or crying or laughing for no reason. The exercise loosened up that hard ball of emotion and now some of it is being released by laughing or crying or whatever. Don't stop it or it will go back to the hard area. Just let it run it's course like steam coming out of a tea kettle.

 

Pay attention to Boris - espesciallly the last paragraph. Anger causes the body to produce adrenaline and dopamine - these will spur you on to more intense exercise than you normally would do, and they will mask the warning signs of injury.

 

When angry, limit/control your exercise. Force yourself to work at about 80% of your normal level. Or, better yet, as Boris said, go for a 5 mile walk (OK, I took that out of context).

 

I hope to weigh in on this later, after I've read all the other excellent advice. Meanwhile, although I've not updated it as recently as I should have (seems it's more fun to spend my internet time here), check out Elderbear's Anger Management Site - especially the anger exercises section and the blog.

 

go out dancin man

 

People have been dancing for 10s of thousands of years. Gabrielle Roth has developed a system of dance for emotional release and spiritual integration - her book Sweat Your Prayers is EXCELLENT. It's a five style process - Google her for details. Here's an interview with her.

[elderbear]

I'm gonna try to condense 20 hours of anger management classes into one post (that will be $1,000.00 please B))

 

Anger is a natural, activating, defensive, secondary emotion.

 

1) Anger is natural. Yep, our brains are wired for it. Like the other "negative" emotions, anger acts as a flag that something is wrong. Suppressing anger (besides elevating your blood pressure) is like suppressing the safety gauges on a nuclear reactor.

 

2) Anger is activating. I'll avoid the biology of it (check out Redfield Williams Anger Kills and Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence for details - I posted the Emotional Intelligence audio book torrent). It actually changes the way your brain functions. Rage is when you become emotionally higjacked by the anger - your brain chemistry mimics that of a tweaker on speed! Your body doesn't completely return to "normal" until two hours after you've calmed down. Exercise feels good because it allows the body to take action, but it does nothing to resolve the roots of the anger.

 

3) Anger is a defensive emotion. This means that if you feel angry, you have perceived a threat - either physical or emotional, your brain doesn't care which. Also, the limbic system (the part of the brain that handles threats) can't really distinguish between a real threat or one you've imagined.

 

It is not the situation that makes us angry, it is thinking angrily about a situation or event that causes our anger. The ultimate solution to anger, repressed or otherwise, is to modify how we think. Reframe anger triggers. The technique of anger logging can help with this. Changing our thought process decreases the perceived threat level and thus the trigger for our anger. You cannot become angry at another without judging them first!

 

4) Anger is a secondary emotion. When you feel angry, you always pass through a primary negative emotional state first. Generally we don't notice this primary emotion, such as fear, feeling dimished, frustration, etc. Primary negative emotions make us feel small and powerless, so we prefer to move on to anger, which makes us feel big and powerful.

 

Some would argue that there are no "negative" emotions - that emotions just are. I don't use negative in a judgmental sense here. Our emotions rise out of our needs. Fulfilled needs lead to positive emotions - an indication that all is well. If our need for connection is fulfilled, we feel happy and warm. Unfulfilled needs raise a flag that things are not OK. If our need for connection is unfulfilled we feel lonely or sad.

 

When you feel angry, try to access the primary emotion, then discover what need is unfulfilled. Instead of acting out anger - or repressing it - take the time to discover what need is unfulfilled, what threat you perceive. Then work to fulfill that need. If you feel lonely, either connect with somebody or work on self-soothing.