thanatos355 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 1.One word: hair 2.More hair than all previous Star Trek commanding officers combined. 3.Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff. 4.Beams down to the planet like real Captains should. 5.Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line. 6.Hasn't let an adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet. 7.Commanded ships blown up: Picard: 2 Janeway: 0 8.Voyager needs a female Captain. Its Captain must be willing to admit they're lost and pull over for directions. 9.Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way through. 10.Hasn't quoted Shakespeare -- yet. 11.Looks better in sleepwear. 12.Gives guilt trips that would make a Jewish mother proud. 13.Isn't French with an English accent. 14."Take this cheese to sickbay!" I don't know why this is here, either, but I loved that line! 15.Will give you two days off to ponder your life shattering experience. 16.Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to convince them to behave better. 17.To comfort children, Janeway cares for them in a loving motherly way. Picard sings a song...in French...about a monk...who can't wake up for morning bells. 18.The only children on Voyager can be turned off at will. 19.Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo. 20.She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way. 21.Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles. 22.Ackowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasel her way out of it with philosophical ramblings. 23.15 episodes without surrendering the ship. 24.15 episodes and Wesley has yet to save the ship. 25.Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs. Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniuses who yet again take over the ship. 26.She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands. 27.Janeway has never worn green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. However, if she did, she would look fantastic! 28.Kirk looked good in ripped shirts; Picard looked good without a shirt; Janeway would look... no, they can't do that on network television. 29.Cheese 30.Doesn't force her crew to wear awful outfits, unless it is to blend in with a primitive planet. 31.She doesn't waste time learning foreign languages. All life forms in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English. 32.Her engineer does not wear a banana clip over her eyes. 33.Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments. 34.Doesn't have a Counselor on board (thank God!). 35.Her telepath only lives nine years. 36.Janeway heard the words "boldly go where no man (er, woman) has gone before" and took them to the extreme. 37.Picard tells alien cultures, "I hope our two cultures will one day come to a greater understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the deadliest of force". 38.Janeway's Security Chief would never grow a ponytail. 39.The high point of Enterprise cuisine were scrambled eggs that only Worf could stomach. 40.Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off. 41.Maintains an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia. 42.Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris, are YOU ever stupid." 43.Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. I can't help myself! 44.Hugs her Vulcan from time to time. 45.Has a more manly voice. 46.Doesn't have a starship that splits in half when it's in a tight spot. 47.Has a dog and a significant other, not some damn fish! 48.Kes. Troi. No contest. 49.Nealix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable. 50.At least she doesn't have to yell "Hot!" at her cook every time she wants something to drink. 51.Her ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles. 52.Her CONN officer actually went through the Academy. 53.Her CONN officer can use contractions. 54.Her first officer has a hallucinogenic device. 55.None of the crewmembers' relatives have ever tried to take over the ship, invade the Federation, steal a starship, or enslave all humankind. 56.To help her relax, Janeway's first officer helps her contact her spirit guide. Picard's first officer helps him get... to Risa. again, i disagree, but its funny as hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VonHelton Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 There's a few of these that might be questionable, but by & large, I agree. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oma Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Noooooooo! :o Ok, it's a little funny.... and yeah, picard's BRITISH accent is misplaced..... (but he's my favourite capt. * looks for a heart-shaped smilie*) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thanatos355 Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Noooooooo! :o Ok, it's a little funny.... and yeah, picard's BRITISH accent is misplaced..... (but he's my favourite capt. * looks for a heart-shaped smilie*) hey, i agree with you, but if you cant laugh at your heroes, who can yo laugh at? :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hendo001 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 well if u didn't laugh then u'd probbibly cry lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamp Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Janeway can also handle Q. Picard just gets really pissed off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thanatos355 Posted January 21, 2005 Author Share Posted January 21, 2005 'GET OFF MY SHIP Q!' :mad: but he's funny darnit! where janeway is just annoying as hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hendo001 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Janeway aint that bad she's just.......... Female.............lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fds71 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Steward has also been Gurney Halleck in David Lynch's film Dune and Professor Xavier in X-men...He must like Sci-Fi Janeway has been ...Ms Colombo and arrested Odo in one of the shows. But you're right about Picard, I wish he stops to sing "Frère Jacques" trying to make people think he speaks french... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbbb Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Captain Janeway demoted Paris just to make sure she dosen't lose her command. Picard was never concerned about losing his command. He understands his personnel and actually tries to gain their loyalty, not just bark orders like Janeway does. Picard and Kirk are also a lot less wishy-washy than Janeway, who'd go from crying to getting really angry. Another point to consider, did she ever get over Chakotay's actions in Scorpion? They never seemed to get so close after that. I don't think Janeway was even trained and equipped to last seven years in the Delta Quadrant and that only her raw instinct allowed her to command way out there. Picard would have had it easier I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thanatos355 Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Captain Janeway demoted Paris just to make sure she dosen't lose her command. Picard was never concerned about losing his command. He understands his personnel and actually tries to gain their loyalty' date=' not just bark orders like Janeway does. Picard and Kirk are also a lot less wishy-washy than Janeway, who'd go from crying to getting really angry. Another point to consider, did she ever get over Chakotay's actions in Scorpion? They never seemed to get so close after that. I don't think Janeway was even trained and equipped to last seven years in the Delta Quadrant and that only her raw instinct allowed her to command way out there. Picard would have had it easier I think.[/quote'] yep, he'd have founded a delta quadrant starfleet base and brought everyone into it, including the borg. they would have made it back the first year and been hailed heroes, then after lunch would have stopped an evil alien invasion. great stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamp Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 yep' date=' he'd have founded a delta quadrant starfleet base and brought everyone into it, including the borg. they would have made it back the first year and been hailed heroes, then after lunch would have stopped an evil alien invasion. great stuff. [/quote'] I cant help but detect sarcasm here. I like voy more that tng but picard is way better. He is cultured, Janeway isn't. the best thing is that picard has a barber while janeway has really bad hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psheldrake1 Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Janeway looks better in a speedo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elladan Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Janeway looks better in a speedo. Nothing can compete with the Argo and Nemesis Dress Uniforms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostwolf357 Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Yes but Picard brought us face to face with the Borg. Resistance is Futile...while Janaway introduced us to the Higerian, long may they hunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elladan Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 while Janaway introduced us to the Higerian' date=' long may they hunt.[/quote'] It's Hirogen, m8! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pall Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Janeway was only captain because it was "politically correct" at the time. If it would have ended sooner then we would now have more episodes of Enterprise to watch :). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thanatos355 Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 yep' date=' he'd have founded a delta quadrant starfleet base and brought everyone into it, including the borg. they would have made it back the first year and been hailed heroes, then after lunch would have stopped an evil alien invasion. great stuff. [/quote'] I cant help but detect sarcasm here. I like voy more that tng but picard is way better. He is cultured, Janeway isn't. the best thing is that picard has a barber while janeway has really bad hair. sarcasm yes, does that mean that i prefer voy and janeway more than tng and picard? not a chance in hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 vell picard dont have much battle exp. but he is still a captain Janeway is sitting in star fleet HQ and just sitting there not out to explore she is a wimp, plain and simple ;) ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thanatos355 Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 did anyone else understand a word of that? :stare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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