"Family Friendly"

[elderbear]

GeneralLee and I have been discussing this concept for the last few days. We thought it would be helpful to see how others think of it.

 

From the Posting Rules:

 

2. No foul, obscene, or demeaning language.

-- Let's try to keep the site 'family friendly'. Also, please refrain from making comments regarding race, religion, sexual orientation, or web browser usage.

 

What does "Family Friendly" mean to you? Where do you draw the line for yourself? Where should the line be drawn in the forums?

 

Please comment.

 

This is an advisory poll, to help the community get a feel for where how we think. It is not launched because of grave breaches of "Family Friendly," but to expand our understanding of ourselves It will also help the mods get a better picture of how their standards coincide with what everybody else is thinking. (As usual, this is NiteShdw's board, so he has the ultimate say in the matter - it's not a real democracy - it's a community - dare I say a "family?"

[Annika]

I voted "I'll know it when I see it" because it really IS hard to define. But I noticed some swearing a few times in recent posts, that is definitely NOT family friendly I think.

 

[fakungabubu]

Definitely no swearing, no obscene language and no discussion of something you wouldn't say in front of a child. I know some of the threads recently have made me feel uncomfortable and I definitely would not repeat the words used in front of either my child or somebody else's.

[Weyoun]

I voted that it is so subjective as to be meaningless. Every "family" considers different things offensive. Some people would consider just mentioning drinking, or mentioning a wine offensive. There are actually families like Flanders in the Simpons that would consider Harry Potter offensive.

 

There are rules you can set up to make the forums a generally less offensive place, and that is a good goal. Rule #2 would work, though it is often ignored, but "family friendly?" We can limit talk to tribbles, I suppose, though some PETA people wouldn't like some of our conversations, assuming they really existed, and especially when we get into recipes, even vegeterians could be offended.

[Soulreaper]

I concur

[elderbear]

Definitely no swearing, no obscene language and no discussion of something you wouldn't say in front of a child. I know some of the threads recently have made me feel uncomfortable and I definitely would not repeat the words used in front of either my child or somebody else's.

 

I'm thinking I say a lot of stuff to my kids that would apall other parents. I recently had a great discussion of gay marriage with my 12-year-old daugher and her best friend, age 11. Her friend had a lot of deep and beautiful things to say that surpassed what I expect from most adults. Not many parents would have had that discussion.

 

Last fall, when my daughter was 11, we had a conversation about coming of age, beginning to menstruate, and being a woman. She was kind of embarassed (this wasn't the facts of life talk), but she told me later she was happy that I'd brought it up because it gave her a new way to look at it and that she wouldn't feel so embarassed in the future. She very much appreciated my respecting her as a woman and not being afraid to talk to her about "womanly things."

 

Most dads I know won't even buy tampons for their wives ...

 

Or - discussing homosexuality is bad because it will corrupt children vs. discussing homosexuality is good because it helps children to grow up less prejudiced and less likely to call people "fag" or "queer."

 

I'm not putting down your statement - I just think that it opens up an entirely different can of worms. Let's keep this discussion going, though, because the point of this was awareness (of our differences, of our similarities), not unanimity.

[GorunNova]

I think 'family friendly' covers the following:

- No crude and overt sex themes (i.e. don't talk in great graphic detail about wanting to have sex with someone or -having- sex with someone)

- Kill the swears... swears are so catchy, and I know that if my nephew hears a 'bad word' even once, he'll be chanting it until he gets a spanking -_-'

- No obviously discrimination! Don't talk about how 'gays are inferior' or crap like that... wasn't going to mention this, but I think it's also covered by 'Family Friendly' as well as general conduct.

 

... that's all I think 'Family Friendly' covers, really...

[pippincp]

Definitely no swearing' date=' no obscene language and no discussion of something you wouldn't say in front of a child. I know some of the threads recently have made me feel uncomfortable and I definitely would not repeat the words used in front of either my child or somebody else's.[/quote']

 

This I think is the nearest you'll get to a definition of Family Friendly. We live in a world rich in diversity and this is reflected not just on this forum but many others.

 

I would not DELIBERATELY make an offensive post, in fact I did make a post which got 2 comments from members who were offended by it. That was not my intention. I would have edited the post myself but by the time I read the complaints Nite had already done so, not that he was upset by it.

 

Could be a long and complex discussion this one.

[Weyoun]

Definitely no swearing, no obscene language and no discussion of something you wouldn't say in front of a child. I know some of the threads recently have made me feel uncomfortable and I definitely would not repeat the words used in front of either my child or somebody else's.

 

I'm thinking I say a lot of stuff to my kids that would apall other parents. I recently had a great discussion of gay marriage with my 12-year-old daugher and her best friend, age 11. Her friend had a lot of deep and beautiful things to say that surpassed what I expect from most adults. Not many parents would have had that discussion.

 

Last fall, when my daughter was 11, we had a conversation about coming of age, beginning to menstruate, and being a woman. She was kind of embarassed (this wasn't the facts of life talk), but she told me later she was happy that I'd brought it up because it gave her a new way to look at it and that she wouldn't feel so embarassed in the future. She very much appreciated my respecting her as a woman and not being afraid to talk to her about "womanly things."

 

Most dads I know won't even buy tampons for their wives ...

 

Or - discussing homosexuality is bad because it will corrupt children vs. discussing homosexuality is good because it helps children to grow up less prejudiced and less likely to call people "fag" or "queer."

 

I'm not putting down your statement - I just think that it opens up an entirely different can of worms. Let's keep this discussion going, though, because the point of this was awareness (of our differences, of our similarities), not unanimity.

 

Ya know Elderbear, that's great, but if we are going to allow talk of homosexuality especially (oh god not again), we can't just allow one side of an arguement and deny the other, even if we consider it to be bigoted. It just doesn't work that way. And this goes for a lot of other polarized discussions, and this particular one will even transition into others, such as religion.

 

You will run into some people that find talking about homosexuality not family friendly, some that are fine with talking about it, so long as we only discuss why it is wrong, some that are fine with it as long as we only light it as positive, and some that simply don't care. This is true of just about anything.

 

As for menstruatation, I really don't care one way or the other, seeing as I am not the gender that has to deal with it, but I really don't think it will matter much here. Kudos to you for being open with your daughter though.

 

Now I am not saying that we shouldn't have rules, but what I am saying is that everyone draws the line at a different point, and some really don't draw it at all. Hence the problem in defining "family friendly."

[elderbear]

If we are going to allow talk of homosexuality especially (oh god not again), we can't just allow one side of an arguement and deny the other, even if we consider it to be bigoted. It just doesn't work that way. And this goes for a lot of other polarized discussions, and this particular one will even transition into others, such as religion.

 

You will run into some people that find talking about homosexuality not family friendly, some that are fine with talking about it, so long as we only discuss why it is wrong, some that are fine with it as long as we only light it as positive, and some that simply don't care. This is true of just about anything.

 

As for menstruatation, I really don't care one way or the other, seeing as I am not the gender that has to deal with it, but I really don't think it will matter much here. Kudos to you for being open with your daughter though.

 

Now I am not saying that we shouldn't have rules, but what I am saying is that everyone draws the line at a different point, and some really don't draw it at all. Hence the problem in defining "family friendly."

 

IMHO, censorship of ideas is basically NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY. So yes, if human sexuality topics come up, the pro and con positions deserve to be heard. Actually, at this point, I'd be tempted to lock the topic and say "the time is not right for this discussion - please let us recover from the last time this got out of hand." Not sure I'd do that, but I'd be tempted.

 

I 100% agree with you that a definition of "family friendly" is likely to elude us. Yet, by having a great discussion of the issues, when I read something, I'll have a lot of input to add to my own beliefs and prejudices. I hope that will help me to post more kindly to those who I disagree with.

[Fenriswolf]

Some forums have an age based area 18+ or whatever it is, where pretty much anything goes...anyone that lies about their age and so on, then complains that the talk is too close to the collar, well - they agreed to it.

 

I kind of see Mirror Universe as a place for the really 'non family' friendly forum topics...

 

Recently I had to remove a dodgy picture from the Dr. Who forums, I won't say who the culprit is because they know who they are -- but that for me was a bit too far because of the section of the forum it was in, if that were in Mirror Universe I wouldn't have blinked once.

[juhan]

No foul language. Period. Intellectual discussion of any topics is fine as long as it is doesn't involve angry taunting comments like "those stupid ppl" and such. "Vulcan"ised discussions of sex, sexuality, war, Bush is acceptable.

 

Just think Vulcan!

 

 

=Han=

[GeneralLee]

To play the devils advocate for a while, one could say that many families, watch shows like The Simpsons, Family Guy, Married With Childern, and so forth together. Much of the "humor" in shows like these, are fairly risque, have somewhat "vulgar" language, much more so then any words used in that "fill in the blank" thread, and are very commonly watched these days, and have been so for going on 20 years now really.

 

Anyhow, I'm beginning to think that here on these forums, the term "family friendly" might have a different interpretation then myself and others may see it as. Perhaps another translation of it should be something like:

 

"Use only words that would not even offend the most devoutly deeply religious individuals, the pr###s of the world...."

 

or something along these lines. Do you think that the above is anything close to what some here may see the meaning of "family friendly" as?

[coolcat13]

here is what I believe is not Family friendly

1 cussing directly - obscured cussing is fine as long as it is hidden with enough symbols like S***

2 personal attacks using words like Idiot stupid or other derrogatory terms .this is in reference to other participants .though bland calling Bush or the MPAA an idiot is a statement that a person can make because of knowing the man and is acceptable

3 baiting or participating in a flaming war is not family friendly .we may all get caught up in the fray once in a while best bet is let it die and stay away from that topic / poster

4 nudity or suggestive visuals are not family friendly and should be posted with an advisory if at all

5 sexual discussions at a certain point where they become vulgar are not family friendly .

 

I am not saying that I would censor all of the above that should be done case by case . I am saying that certain topics that are cutting edge may be better served to have an advisory warning put at the begining of the thread or placed in a sub form that children etc could not easily acess

 

[Fenriswolf]

I think it's not just Family Friendly we have to be aware of, it's the appropriate section of the board - as to further expand on the Mirror Universe comment I made earlier. Not only did our little picture contain innapropriate content for the Dr. Who forums, but also innapropriate language.

 

Said person also edited the Moderator's Edit of the post - they're now hovering on the edge of my peripheral vision, which means that they're being watched - their next step will be a strike one warning.

 

I hate being a hard-ass anywhere but there are rules and regulations I stick to, so as a moderator I enforce those rules and regulations because I take that task quite seriously. The key word is moderation, I have learned this through years and years of modding - trial and error you could say, and every mod does have a different idea of what's kosher and what's not.

 

I don't tend to edit anything unless it has dodgy content, I don't tend to hunt down people unless they happen to be like our departed friend: Boris.

 

The Mirror Universe is the place I would expect to see the deeper/darker/hotter topics, where there's still a level of respect and so forth, but where discussions that younger members know are full of darker content can take place - it's their own fault if they stray into that area and they have been warned.

 

This of course does not mean that full on p0rn would be allowed etc, but I wouldn't blink if the Katy Manning Dalek picture turned up there for instance.

[Weyoun]

IMHO, censorship of ideas is basically NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY. So yes, if human sexuality topics come up, the pro and con positions deserve to be heard. Actually, at this point, I'd be tempted to lock the topic and say "the time is not right for this discussion - please let us recover from the last time this got out of hand." Not sure I'd do that, but I'd be tempted.

 

-----snip------

 

Really, I agree with you, but, err...

 

2. No foul, obscene, or demeaning language.

-- Let's try to keep the site 'family friendly'. Also, please refrain from making comments regarding race, religion, sexual orientation, or web browser usage.

 

You posted this on the top of this page, and I am guessing that is still to be considered "In Play" until/unless replaced. The part about refraining should be dropped, if we are to allow discussions like the ones you are talking about. Otherwise we are breaking the rules, and selecting the ones we want to follow. That is wrong, especially for a moderator. And I actually didn't notice that "please refrain.." part until just now.. hmm. Oops.

 

EDIT: And one more thing, I agree with Fenriswolf that the more risque subjects would deserve to be in a place like the mirror universe area. I did like the idea of adding a section like the 18+ areas, and it would have its own rules. Not anything goes. My major issue with that would be porn, which I don't want to see here. I go elsewhere for that.

[Annika]

WTF?

 

I wonder, is that Family Friendly? :D

 

[GorunNova]

How about some sort of 'rating symbols' that can be put up beside a topic, much like the smileys currently available?

[Fenriswolf]

WTF?

 

I wonder, is that Family Friendly? :D

 

On one hand no, on the other hand however since it's an abbreviation it's considered a grey/gray area -- however since Lee didn't spell it out, we can let him off ;)

 

Edit: Weyoun - a sub-section of the Mirror Universe for really hot topics, but don't worry about p0rn - that would be deleted and the user warned, 2 warnings and you're looking at the third strike being out of it for a while.

 

 

[GorunNova]

What's so bad about 'What The Figlet'? ;)